play me a match of doto for your heart

Here are some strange messages I have received on OKCupid.


  • you are evil // Sorry you do not you're Sorry
  • hi // how are you? // what did you mean with that you are dog person
  • Hi. How are you? Please I need a favor
  • Hey bitch, are you studying computer science? (this is probably the closest thing to 'abuse' I have received on the site)
  • I love dogs tho
  • All of which are American dreams comrade
  • MY GOD YOU HAVE A FACE // Sorry, was that rude? Is it rude to tell a woman she has a face?

people respond to my profile

The context here is that I write very small pieces of speculative fiction in the 'explanation' box for my questions. Someone asked if they were Cormac McCarthy quotes once, which may be my greatest achievement. I've also gotten a few messages written in the same style as my responses. Dating site as platform for collaborative fiction-writing, anyone?

  • I could not and still can not tell if your page is a real dating profile or just a place to either copy and paste or write original satire
  • I have an incredible amount of respect for your commitment to this bit.
  • are you a Turing test?

  • play me a match of doto for your heart (amazing)

  • Ayyy gurl, no need to get a BKB cuz my love is pure.

Never change, internet.